Online: evo94
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  • Far Canal
    Far Canal
    5 days ago

    The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was „Timbuktu“.

    First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

    Slowly across the desert sand
    Trekked a lonely caravan.
    Men on camels, two by two
    Destination---Timbuktu.

    The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

    Me and Tim a-huntin went,
    Met three whores in a pop up tent.
    They was three, and we was two,
    So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

    The redneck won hands down!

  • magnum54
    magnum54
    5 days ago
    Three guys, an American, an Englishman, and an Irishman meet in a bar for expats in Japan one evening.  All are homesick, and they get to discussing how good their local bar is at home.

    The American says "Back home in NYC, my local bar is great.  TV to watch the ball games, barkeep knows you by first name, and every 5th drink is on the house!"

    The Englishman says "Not bad, but back home in the East End of London, my local has live entertainment, they keep your personal beer tankard behind the bar, you buy two drinks, the third is free"

    The Irishman says "They both sound nice, but back home at my local pub in Dublin, all drinks are bought for you, and at the end of the night you can go upstairs and have sex - as much as you want."

    The American and the Englishman laugh at this from the Irishman - "Come on you expect us to believe that?  This really happened to you?"
    And the Irishman says "No, but it happened to me sister...."
  • roadrunner14
    roadrunner14
    5 days ago
  • Far Canal
    Far Canal
    5 days ago
    Bill and Bob were out hunting one day when Bob suddenly keels over. In a panic Bill dials 911 on his cell phone and cries out that his friend just dropped dead. A helpful and calming voice on the other end of the line says, "I can help, but first you must make sure that your friend is really dead." After a brief silence the operator hears a gun shot. Bill returns to the phone and says, "Now what?"
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