Spook Space Mark 2

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  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    Thanks Larry. 
    Had “the talk” with the wife today it being Mother’s Day.  

    We were discussing aspects of our future so when it was my turn
    I asked her,
    "What will you do if I die before you do?”
    After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
    Then she asked me,
    "What will you do if I die first?"
    I replied, "Probably the same thing."

    I’m hoping we will be talking by this evening. 
  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
    Stupid Boy! 
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    I was having a coffee and sticky bun the other day with Spook and I was sporting a new Harley T shirt. I said to him "I think my stomach looks big in this T shirt"
    Spook unhelpfully said, "Do you think you should Diet?"
    I said to him "Stupid boy, there's nothing wrong with the colour."
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    Friend sent me this. Reminds me of my previous working life. We used to put signs on our big photocopiers saying that they were voice activated. Wait for some unsuspecting sap to wander by with a copy task. Hilarious. 
  • Baloffski
    Baloffski
    2 years ago
    That is sooo stupid it's clever. ya gotto have a laugh in life. Well done.
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    Every time I tell a "story" to spook over a cuppa and sticky bun he asks "You wouldn't lie to a Presbyterian would you?"

    So to see what he was on about, I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.
    The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
    I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
    The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
    I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
    The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
    I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”
    The Hindu sadhu came and said "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
    I said "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"
    The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
    I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

    After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my motorbike had been stolen.

    I BELIEVE IN ALL RELIGIONS NOW...
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    “”

  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    Love it spook. Compared to my old Volvo, the missus performs very favorably.
  • paulybronco
    paulybronco
    2 years ago
    Quoting steelo on 27 Jun 2022 11:39 PM

    Love it spook. Compared to my old Volvo, the missus performs very favorably.

    Oh dear....
  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
    Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
    answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
    David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
    'My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
    Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.'
    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little David aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?'
    'No,' said David, 'He plays AFL football for Collingwood, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.'
  • paulybronco
    paulybronco
    2 years ago
    Quoting Spook on 04 Jul 2022 09:12 AM

    Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical

    answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
    David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
    'My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
    Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.'
    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little David aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?'
    'No,' said David, 'He plays AFL football for Collingwood, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.'

    GOLD!!!
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    My missus gets naked and asks me the other day, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' I looks her up and down for a while and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'

    It’s cold outside in the van at the moment. 
  • steelo
    steelo
    2 years ago
    Nice one wombat. Why is it only women get upset at comments like that?  I’ll never understand them. 
  • Spook
    Spook
    2 years ago
  • GGUser260
    GGUser260
    2 years ago


    A Family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Richmond footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Tiger supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Winfields and says, "Go talk to Mum.
    Off goes the little lad with the Richmond footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Tiger supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "lets go talk to your father".
    Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and find bubba, his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Richmond supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the rec. room to the other for further good measure.
    About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (Reservoir). The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes knackers I have." "Good son, what is it?"
    The son replies, "I've only been a Richmond supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood bastards."
  • Grease Monkey
    Grease Monkey
    2 years ago
    Go the mighty Pies!
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