Spook Space Mark 2

1/4
  • Spook
    Spook
    1 year ago
  • steelo
    steelo
    1 year ago
    Bike will last longer. It’ll never care if you ride another bike. 
  • Far Canal
    Far Canal
    1 year ago
    Quoting steelo on 31 Jul 2021 08:43 AM

    Bike will last longer. It’ll never care if you ride another bike. 

    Plus if you look after your bike it will look just as good in 50 years, not many women will.
  • Spook
    Spook
    1 year ago
  • Spook
    Spook
    1 year ago
  • Far Canal
    Far Canal
    1 year ago
    Quoting Spook on 03 Aug 2021 09:36 AM

    Reminds me of this one.
  • steelo
    steelo
    1 year ago
    The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
    Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
    OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
    "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
    A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
    The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
    The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
    So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
    Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
    "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
  • Spook
    Spook
    1 year ago
  • Spook
    Spook
    1 year ago
  • Spook
    Spook
    11 months
  • Spook
    Spook
    11 months
  • Wideglider
    Wideglider
    11 months
    Yeah, 'running-writing' and 'manual-cars' in Australian language.
  • GGUser260
    GGUser260
    11 months
    George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" "No," he replied but some people have broken into my garden shed and are stealing from me.
    The police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available" George hung up the phone and phoned the police again half a minute later.
    "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
    Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
    One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
    George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
    Rumor has it this is a true story!

  • Spook
    Spook
    11 months
    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
    making beer.. Always something more important to me.
    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
    scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
    the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
    I handed her a toothbrush.
    I said, "When you finish cutting the
    grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
  • Spook
    Spook
    11 months
    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
    'No,' she answered.
    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
    ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    And that's when the fight started...
  • steelo
    steelo
    11 months
    Very funny Spook. Did you phone a friend for yourself or her?
    Reminds me of this true story...

    No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

    The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: Hire a strapping young man.

    While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.

    That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.' They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice.

    They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi. 'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed.

    Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them'. Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man.

    The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

    The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, 'You see that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!!
  • Spook
    Spook
    11 months
    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
     ‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
     ‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’
  • steelo
    steelo
    11 months
    This very short YT video amused me. I know someone like that.
  • fatbat
    fatbat
    11 months
    Not wanting to turn spooks space into fart space but this short video tops steelo’s I reckon. Sorry to one-up you steelo but this bloke would be an Olympian if there was a sport for it 

    You just have to press/click on the link “watch on YouTube”

  • steelo
    steelo
    11 months
    Thank you FB. Being somewhat a gastric disorder specialist due to a limited but appalling diet, I can confidently label that second long wind passing video to be fake. The bringing up of the knees to sight picture the missus is a genuine targeting technique.
1/4