So I've had my first near death encounter haha. I'm writing this from my hospital bed. 

I was heading north on Pittwater in Narrabeen. Turning right onto Ocean St. Light was green. No car ahead of me in the turning lane. My eyes wandered to the left, looking at a Mitsubishi Evo X that was passing by. Didn't look to check for oncoming traffic. Turned. Bam.  I must have been doing 30. Car that hit me would have been doing 50ish. Hit the left side of my front wheel. I don't know what happened next. I was on the ground. Felt no pain to be honest. All I heard were voices asking me if I was ok. 

It happened right in front of the fire station luckily.  Bunch of guys ran out to help me right away. Big puddle of blood in the middle of the street. Jeans all torn. And a stinging pain in the crack of my ass. Yup. Next thing I know a fireman has his finger up my ass.

Ambo and police came. All super nice. Obviously my fault. Taken to hospital.  Few stitches on my left shin, small fracture on my right thumb, and a very bad laceration in my ass crack. My arse must have skidded on the road for a bit. I've had two operations so far. One to clean it up. Another to close it up. You'd be surprised how much your ass bleeds. Apparently a lot of blood vessels there. 

Im here for a couple days. On antibiotics. It's a pretty nasty laceration that is still bleeding. Of course I have some old Russian guy in the bed across from me who keeps randomly saying shit in Russian while dropping massive rippers. I envy him. My asshole is packed with gauze and all my farts backfire.  I won't even get into the detail of how difficult it was to drop the kids off at the pool today. 

Gotta have a laugh about it!

Could have been a lot worse so I must say I'm very fortunate. Another foot into the turn and the car would have crushed my leg for sure. All I know is I've had more fingers up my wazoo in the last two days than one could ever hope for.

As for the bike, no clue what condition it's in. The guys who I take it to normally for work picked it up today. See if its a write off or not!

Not good and hope your back up and about and riding again soon

Con, you poor but lucky bastard. Glad to see you still have your humour. But why was the fireman fingering your bunghole? Hope ur on the mend and the bike can be fixed up. All for a bloody Mitsubishi rice burner...

hi,

man top post, classic, hope all goes well and you up and running soon

thanks
robots

Hey ConR all the best on the mend, great that you have a sense of humour about it all. Bikes can be replaced, although it might need to be one with a real comfy seat, .

Hey keep us amused, let us know how you're going, whats the food like, and of course the nurses (have a listen to Alice Coopers Nurse Rozetta) that ought to keep ya goin.

All the best mate heal fast.

Thanks guys. Yeah really opens your eyes. No sense being all dopey about it. Although the endone is doing a great job at that!

The food is shite. I was served what they called chicken today, but I have no clue what it was. But that's a small price to pay for having your own personal arse wiper. I feel like the Sultan of Brunei.

The nurses are really nice. Few lookers for sure! But once they get a look at my droopy old mans ass, my chances are gone!

all the best with recovering man, rest up and take it easy

Mate, we all have a few near death misses, also known as accidents where you dont end up dead, amputee, or wheelchair.. Ive had a couple that at times kept me from riding for months...sounds like your in good spirits....better a bung plopper than losing a nad or an eye.....just lay off the assplay for a couple of weeeks or at at least make sure its you wearing the strap on and gas mask for a monthor two....get well mate, hope the insurance pays.

Con go and buy a lottery ticket. Good to hear your on the mend. Bike can be repaired or replaced.
What I don't understand 'was there a chick driving the evo?'

Farrk. hope you heal soon mate.. any hot nurses to take your mind off it?

Congrats on making it through the biggest learning experience of all. Don't forget to drop off a slab for the firey with the brown finger - a fucking hero in my books.

Thanks everyone. I should be getting discharged today after some X-rays clear.

I tell ya, most people look forward to their showers. I despise them now haha. Burns like hell. I also can't.....wipe. Have to rinse with water every time I go.

My doc showed me a pic of it this morn. Beautiful sight!

Fuck man, sorry to hear! Glad you still have a sense of humor!!!! Heal fast and rest up! When the time comes put up a list of parts you need to get your bike going again...i have some spares i can donate!

Regards Andrew - T1

Sorry to hear about the accident. Could happen to anyone. Heal well mate.

Ouch, I had an op a couple of years back and the guy in the next bed had just had an op to remove an ingrowing hair at the base of his spine. Anyway the poor bugga was petrified of getting an infection as it was so close to his ass that he asked for advise from every nurse and doctor who came near him. Sorry to say but I had tears of laughter running down my face picturing what he was explaining which as my op was for a hernia wasn't ideal recovery! Shit happens I guess.

Get well soon bro, it sounds like your SOH is intact just chalk it off as one of life's experiences as you are still with us and bikes can be replaced.

Glad you are ok mate. At least you wont have to worr about getting a prostate exam anytime soon. A fireman, a dozen doctors and nurses probing away!

Best wishes for this one Fella. Heal soon.

 

I feel so sorry for you BUT your story made me laugh with the way you wrote it. Obviously your sense of humour wasn't damaged. Glad your on the mend and I wish you a speedy recovery.

Thanks for all the thoughts everyone.

bahl, maybe that came out wrong haha.

Doc came back today. Turns out the cut I have is pretty bad. I don't want to get into too much detail, but the cut is 1" deep and 2" long, extending right from the outside of my cinnamon ring out wards. It's basically left a flap of flesh.

Very high risk of infection. And any time I pray to the porcelain god it has to be cleaned. Since I can't do that solo, and I can't get a nurse to come out to my place each time I let loose, i may have to stay in the hospital until it heals. A week at least.

shit eh, my first accident had a truck hit me