oh com on thought i could get more of a bite then that....

that first one sure is a weapon Wimbo

This is an exact example of what happens when you start riding softtails, ya start talking about men's anatomy. doctors haven't put there
finger on it yet but it's a condition known as ilikeithardundermyass. 

Mongrel...that's a pretty convincing argument right there....and I ride a softail !

 

eheheh! It's all in good fun lads!! As long as it has two wheels and you have your knees in the breeze - you gives a rats flying fuck.

Crookneez, I have an interesting story about Piles, that might give you a giggle, although I found no fucking humor on the subject. I have had bleeding Piles for about 20 years, but about 10 years ago, on the occasion that I bleed, I noticed the bleed was getting a bit heavier once in a while when I had my daily shit. I made the fatal mistake of mentioning it to the Mrs, who rang our local doctors surgery to make an appointment with our family doctor Peter Kent who was not available at the time, so without thinking she choose here doctor "Maria' instead. The wife dragged me the next day to the clinic, kicking, spitting, & complaining about Civil liberties etc, all to no avail. Serves me right for marrying a headstrong Dutchy! To my surprise this Doc Maria was of Greek origins, & she was a fucking stunner, Model quality, young hard-belly, & she was a 'hard on' material. After spending 5 min going over my history she ordered me to drop my pants & lay on the examination table. She then walked towards me slipping on the rubber glove as she walked. She looked down at me & told me that she was going to do a Prostate examination. I laughed nervously & informed her that: NO, she wasn't! She started her rhetoric about Prostrate cancer Blah, Blah, Blah. Then she made the mistake of telling me that I shouldn't be embarrassed, as it's not personal! I smiled as I asked: Sure it's not personal? Defiantly not she replied smiling. Well I tell you what I will do doc, you let me shove a digit into your vagina while you examine my prostate & I promise it will not be personal! She left the examination room & returned with the wife who was not impressed with my rhetoric, But I stood staunch & refused to be examined. It was then suggested that it might be better if she arranged to see our family doctor Peter Kent, to which I rudely replied: "Don't give a flying fuck, it you arranged for Jesus Christ to examine me, it ain't going to happen! 2 years down the line, I had to Fly to Malta, to be with my father who was terminally ill & dying from liver & lung cancer. Over the following week that it took him to pass over, I bleed like a stuffed pig every time I went to the toilet, probably due to the stress & high blood pressure, & it didn't help that I had forgot to take my Pile cream with me in the rush, that had kept the bleeding down to a minimum. The day we buried my beloved dad I was feeling kind of woosie, which is understandable under the circumstances, but when it continued for a few more days my sister insisted that we see a local doctor. After a thorough examination he asked me when was I due to go back home? I told him that due to feeling crook I have cut my trip short, & am heading out day after tomorrow. He informed me that it would be a wast of time to take blood tests as I will be gone before the results are back. So while he wrote out a script for Hemorrhoid ointment he made me promise that I would see my family doctor the minute I got home & tell him that I was examined by him & that I am very anemic! My cousin Robert who is a Captain for Air Malta, (Handy having some pull) changed my original flight to his flight taking me from Malta to Heathrow airport to connect with my flight home, where I sat on the rumble seat in the cockpit from Malta to Heathrow. Upon landing I had trouble walking as it seemed my lunges were out of air after walking 10 meters. There was only half hour before my flight left so my cousin got one of those Luggage trollies, put my suitcase on & made me sit on the suitcase as he pushed me at a rapid rate across Heathrow airport which is unbelievably big. It must have been a sight for those watching, seeing a Captain for Air Malta in uniform pushing a civilian on a trolly, certainly got some strange looks. 24hours later finally got home on a Sunday morning & the wife was waiting for me, I explained why I had cut my trip short. Monday morning I was at Peter Kent's Surgery, where he listened then gave me a through examination, where he rang an organized emergency overnight blood tests, then sent home with the order to be there first thing in the morning at 8.30 sharp & that I was to rest & do nothing strenuous until then! The next morning we walked in & as he asked me how I was doing he punch open my file on his computer & the blood tests results. He looked at me strange as he said to the wife, while he picked up the phone to Logan Hospital arranging for emergency admittance. I am arranging to have him admitted to hospital for emergency blood transfusion. He then made the arrangement then hung up as he started to fill me in on how lucky I am as he explained! Normal blood in a healthy person has between a 160 to a 180 points, danger levels are when it drops below 90. Do you know how may points your at Erny? Without waiting for a reply he answer: 55! I don't know how you didn't suffer & die of a major heart attack or cerebral aneurysm? I don't even know what's keep you alive, all I can say it's a miracle that your still here. (Well that explains why I was only able to crack half a hard on last night, during sex but I thought I would keep that to myself) He shifted his attention to my wife advising: Do not stop or go anywhere but straight to the hospital as they are waiting for him, don't let him talk you out of it as his life is seriously on the line! Overnight they drip fed me 4 bags of blood that brought me back up to just over 90 points, i was visited by hospital staff all night looking at my chart & telling me what a legend I was! What a shame, as my breathing & cock was back to normal but didn't even get a quick hand job. To finish up I was pushed forward to have my piles operated on, but before that happened I had to have a camera up my ass, & told them the only way it was going to happen is if they knock me out cold. As I lay on the table on my left side with sedatives already taking their toll through a drip feed, I looked over my shoulder at the sister with a hypo in hand & inserted into my drip feed waiting for the doc to give the order as he asked: Is there anything you want to ask me before you go under? I smiled & replied: Just kiss me & tell me that you love me Doc! I heard the Sister ask: How much will I give him Doctor? The doc still smiling at me replied: Give him the lot! That's how I lost my Virginity! Bahahhahhaha! Sorry for the lenghth of the story guys, but I did my best!

Christ Ernie, helluva story. Glad you're still with us mate. Sounds as though you were real lucky.

Shame about the female Dr and the finger in the dyke though, that would be fun. Sorry to hear about your Dad too, it comes to all of us though sooner or later losing our parents. How old are you Ernie, you sound my vintage.

Still, I understand about the Heritage Custom being more comfy but it's alright for you guys that have been riding for years and had a number of bikes but I've only just started again after 40 years + without a bike. I'm of an age where I probably won't have too many chances to buy Harley's so I want to make my first choice the same as if it was my last. More than anything I guess I'm a bit like a Bogong moth... I love bright and shiny things, hence the chrome. I also like the "Easy Rider' look although definitely not as radical. The Softy Standard and Wide Glide both have a bit of that. I don't even have a license to ride a big bike yet so can't even test ride some HD models to see what I like.

In fact I don't know another person with any sort of bike let alone a Harley so I don't have anyone to run ideas by. In fact, that's one of my concerns with buying a bike and particularly a HD because I can see that riding with a mate would be much more fun and I'm hoping that when I do buy one I don't get tired of riding on my own all the time. My wife definitely won't go with me so that option's out. I might look at joining Ulysees or maybe even HOG's but I reckon those blokes are much more attuned to motor cycling than me so I might be a bit out of my depth. On the occasions I go down to my local Harley dealer, the blokes I see all look like bikies/bikers etc and I'm just an average joe with no tatts etc. Maybe they wouldn't want to ride with an old conservative bloke? Who knows.

Anyway, thanks for the story Ern, what I did learn from it was you've got to make every post a winner and not to procrastinate. Who knows what's around the corner and who knows, like you experienced, that their Dr isn't going to say "I've got some bad news." on our next visit. We've just got to go for it. 

 Hi,

Just buy it and ride it brother, that's all there is to it

You'll love it

thanks

robots

 

 Mate you'll find plenty of people to ride with out of Sunshine Coast Harley, or just do a few laps of Hastings Street, you won't be alone down there and you'll look cool on a softail.  I like the Sofail Standard myself, but I'm looking at second hand.  Good luck.

Cheers Crooknees, both Robots & lowlife are dead right, it's only a matter of buying one & riding it. Harleys are so tractable & well balanced they can near ride themselves. Both Ulysses & HOG are both fine oragnisations, & unlike hardcore clubs you will find a lot of first time riders amongst them & rememnber they are only a social club on motorcycles. In answer to your question I have just turned 64 last month. As for getting board riding your Harley by yourself, it's not really possible as every time I fire up the Heritage the blood starts pumping as it's a start to a new adventure. As for your wife, they all say that, then will will probably find you can't fucking go nowhere by yourself, but the advantage there is, if your like me, make them pay for the feed & fucking fuel, & if she bitches just quote from the Harley Bible: No fuck, feed, or fuel... NO RIDE!... Works for me, but as stated I am happy with just a feed & fuel! Bahahhha!  As for your lisence, go do a Q, ride using their bikes & get your learners, then in a year do your Q ride for your open liscence & away you go! Remember, the Journey of ten thousand miles starts with the first step! Cheers mate.   

 Thanks Ernie, I already have an LE license, I got it a couple months ago when I bought myself a Sym VS150 scooter. I had a couple of old clunker bikes for a couple of years when I was first married back in 69. A clapped out Triumph and a slighly less clapped out Honda 250. I had a full license then but wifey insisted i get rid of them as the children started arriving. Somehow I let my full license go in NSW and it just vanished. Those were the days when car and bike licences were completely separate. These days I have a car, boat and LE (bike) license all in one. I still can't get a full bike for another 10 months.

I've ridden a bicycle for exercise for years but all the excitement started when I got onto the scooter and revisited the fun of motorised 2 wheels again. Over the years, each time I came across a Harley I couldn't help but stop and drool over all the chrome etc and I'd secretly harboured thoughts of "One day?"

I guess that's why I'm here on the forum because I know absolutely nothing about bikes and don't want to make a mistake when I finally do buy one. I did learn one important lesson last Saturday when I went down to Sunshine Coast Harley for their open day. They were doing rides every half hour for all the punters on the different bikes and while I couldn't actually ride, I did sit on a Wide Glide when it came back after a ride. I had shorts on and, well, you prubably guessed, I forgot about the hot exhaust and burnt the fuck out of my right calf. After I stopped crying and they calmed me down with valium I went home with my tail between my legs.  I've still got a 4" brown moonshaped mark on my leg,

Test ride a few different bikes before you commit to anything mate , it`s free , you`ll be the one riding it , only fork out the coin for the one that suits you or as they say whateva tickles ya fancy , in sayin that , they don`t call the Roadking , the Roadking , for nothing you know !
Left the heritage softie for a roadie classic , and won`t be going back anytime soon !
By the way , how is your cake hole Crazy Erny , ya dirty ol`man ya put me off me coco pops , didn`t get them there piles from sittin on your butt posting novals by any chance lol ?
Talkin of stinky situations , my family doc of 30 odd yrs is a lanky srilankan fella , only needed me ring gears date checked once , but thought fuck , don`t really want another bloke anywhere near me arse , so i made an appointment to see his extra small , skinny little ol`chinese partner lady doctor , she said you really should be seeing your own family doctor for this sort of thing you know , i looked at her as if too say yeah like fuck are you serious , sayin , your a doctor arn`t ya love & droppin me dacks before she had a chance to bail , here check this out for us will ya , still can`t look her in the eye so too speak , almost felt violated i did ?
Ahhh the joys of getting old hey , can`t fuggin wait , still , wouldn`t be a doctor for quids ?

Hahaha sorry man was just picturing ya cuz pushin ya through Heathrow on the ol`fruit cart , stand back we`ve got ourselves a bleeder , comin through , and i was going to say that ya just put me of eating grapes for life but was almost throwin up as it was lol ?
Havn`t eaten porridge since oliver twist asked for more and deppendin on the time of the month , i much preffer the missus on toast for breakfast , just gotta luv eatin spicy thai n hot chilli honey roll over and lettus` on top for brekkie each mornin ?
Anyway yeah nothin wrong with the 07 Heritage either , luv em all actually , even the hardest of the hard have a soft spot , for a softie right !
Deffinately do enjoy punting the roadie around better , though besides the usual cans , air , tuner and progressive monotube front , stock it feels like a bit more bike for ya bucks , sorta thing , just my own honest opinion though ?