I just read this at another forum and felt the need to share with you fuggers!!!  I laughed my as* off.....  Hope you enjoy it as much!

 

1. Go to the bike, fingers crossed, say a prayer.
2. Make sure engine oil spot to know it still has oil.
3. Look for tranny seal oil spot on the ground to ensure it has fluid.
4. Turn on the choke.
5. Kick the bike over a few times with the switch off to get it primed.
6. Spin it through until you get compression.
7. Turn the switch on.
8. Kick until you have to wipe the snot from your face.
9. Take a break to catch your breath, count the number of people who gathered around, try to look like this is standard procedure.
10. Realize you are now in middle of the street, roll the bike back onto driveway, that explains the laughter.
11. Try to act as if you don't notice the crowd snickering.
12. Think, must be flooded.
13. Turn off the choke.
14. Hold the throttle wide fucking open.
15. Kick..kick...kick... wipe the tear/snot/sweat/nose bleed combo from your face.
16. Cuss.
17. Kick some more.
18. Cuss.
19. Ignore the old man who says......you know, back in the day.......
20. Kick until you are back in the street again.
21. Cuss.
22. Don't even wipe, just swallow the combo.
23. Check the points.
24. Turn on the choke.
25. Hold the throttle WFO, kick until the neighbors wife says.......you don't look so good.
26. swallow.
27. Check the plugs.
28. Turn off the choke.
29. Notice that you have never turned the gas on.
30. #%@@*($^@^@&*#(#(@
31. Turn gas on.
32. Turn choke on.
33. Prime engine.
34. Threaten motorcycle.
35. KICK !!
36. Pick youself up from the ground in front of motorcycle.
37. Put out the fire in the air cleaner.
38. Remember to retard the timing this go-around.
39. Turn on the ignition.
40. Kick.
41. Engine starts.......dies.
42. swallow the combo.
43. Kick.....success
44. Check gas in tank, realize there is only about a quart, meaning you will have to go through this again in about 10 minutes.
45. straddle bike, look both ways for traffic, realize you are in the middle of the street again.
46. Ride away thinking........ screw those electric start pansies......I'm the real deal.

 

I don't see why it is funny.  That is the prescribed method to kick a shovel over 

 

Shovel's are a biyatch...I know.....But they are cool as chet!

Shovel's are a biyatch...I know.....But they are cool as chet!

Reminds me of the first time I ever saw a Harley started with the "electric leg"!
After kicking and kicking, pretty similar to above, although not as long, and with the audience that always came with any Harley back in the late 70s.
the rider sheepishly pushed the magic button which fired the bike immediately! He made a rather speedy exit!
It wasn't cool to press that girlie button!!!

I remember when I couldn't get the scooter going after all the jolting of the kick start! I would push the bike several meters while running alongside it and then jump on...pop the clutch......not start....get off run some more...Do the same process numerous times to then realize I could have walked home and I should have left the bitch where it was in the first place.

Last month I had just taken delivery of my 84 Softy, and I knew it was running rough. But being the impatient person that I am I rode it down to the mech for the roady anyway. 

So on pickup after a nice little chat about how its tidy for an 84 and that it was kickstart only but that didn't bother me. It took over 50 kicks in front of the other boys all enjoying a beer after work. I swear I followed the original post to the letter all except the forget to turn the fuel on.  The owner pulls up and imediately offers a hand. We pull the plugs and their fuel fowled, so we change them out and it starts second kick. 

Like Kiwidave said a lot of it comes back on the previous owner. So after dumping the fluids, flushing the tanks and putting a kit through the Super B she is starting and running great.